Goosed!

If brazen and bawdy is your thing and you love pantomime, then this year’s artistic offering from The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Goosed!, will be perfect for you. A tale of clubs, greed and golden ‘eggs’. Catia Ciarico writes.

Mother is the proud owner of the Goose Tavern, an iconic ramshackle bar in far off Vauxhall-land. Business is slow and Mother and her dim, yet achingly handsome bar manager, Jack, are running out of ideas to get the punters in.

Can glamorous nightlife sprite; Fairy Lamé turn the tide of fortune for The Goose with the help of the ‘Golden Egg’? And even if the ‘Egg’ helps, can they save the Goose Tavern from the evil, scheming Kelly-Anne Con-Witch, who is determined to get her perfectly manicured mitts on the Golden ‘Egg’ so it can hang in the brand new AmerikeeLand Embassy just in time for President Hump’s inaugural visit?

Can Mother save her Goose and reclaim her status as ageing doyenne of the queer club scene? Will Jack get the ‘Egg’ back, with the help of seriously hot local cop, Finn?

Will Finn and Jack find love once they get off their apps? Will Fairy Lamé find anyone to polish her wand? Is the nightlife of Vauxhall-land doomed forever? And can I order an Uber?

All these questions and more will be answered in Goosed (in between the song and dance numbers obvs)! The adult panto that has glitz, glam, gags and a lot of goosing.

Goosed! Starring Topsie Redfern, Robert McNeilly, Faye Reeves, Rich Watkins and Alan Hunter. Produced by Catia Ciarico on behalf of the RVT

The Royal Vauxhall’s Tavern’s production: Goosed!

Praise for RVT Panto’s

“This probably isn’t one to bring your gran along to – famously filthy and brazenly bawdy” Sosogay

‘It is nothing short of an hilarious night out and comes highly recommended if you are in the mood for some smutty, irreverent and wickedly funny comedy and are able to give yourself up completely to this first class adult panto experience.’ Jack the Lad Magazine

‘Shows like this succeed in capturing the giddy, chaotic and explosive feeling that Panto gives you when you’re a kid – just in a more adult setting. You get to shout rude words, you get pelted with chocolate fingers, and you get to act like a complete dick for a couple of hours, with no kids around to ruin it. And if lines like “straight up the shitter with an HB pencil” don’t get you in the festive spirit, I don’t know what will.’ Exeunt Magazine

“If you thought panto was a bit camp then get ready for a show more flamboyant than a Christmas tree onesie.” Funny Women

‘To all those who’ve had their mouse timorously hovering over their ‘FESTIVE MARIAH MEGA-MIX’ Spotify playlist, or those who’ve been wearing their Christmas jumper inside the house since Halloween, then just do it. Get a ticket. Embrace the Christmas spirit with this festive filth extravaganza.’ QX

Goosed! 2 December, St Mary In The Castle, 7 Pelham Crescent, Hastings, TN34 3AF. Tel: 01424 715880. Doors 7pm. 
Show 8pm
. Tickets: £16. 18+ only. Tickets available on www.stmaryinthecastle.co.uk or ticket site: Music Glue.

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