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The Adventures of the Kings Road Womens Latte Society

Tina Malina writes about their trip across the pond

Tracy’s scratch card win means only one thing, a shopping trip with the girls in New York.

Originally, just two of us were going, but Tracy is a modern Ms and so ‘Green’ she couldn’t justify the air miles for just two travellers, so all eight girls from our Kings Road Women’s Latte Society went to validate the plane’s petrol consumption.

New York, New York. Manhattan. The Big Apple. This girl’s kind of town. We didn’t sleep for five whole days. Kingy Girls on tour or what? All dressed in pink and black, we were like hens on heat, unashamed Mall Rats, the raucous toast of Tinsel Town.

By the admiring looks we got, the New Yorkers were obviously very impressed by our Saturday night St Leonards style. We even had a photo taken for the Greenwich Village Voice street fashion feature, which will please my local pole dance agent.

We stayed in SoHo, opposite the MoMA, close to Tribeca, near Gramercy Park (just a little like Horntye but totally very very different.) We even bumped into Michael Barrymore and Yoko Ono in a cocktail lounge. Yoko and I had nearly been on a TV show together during last years Coastal Currents Festival. Our Hotel 60 Thompson suits fine and has a choice of 20 different brands of bottled water in the mini bar. My favourite was called Ice Cap. They ship it in from Greenland.You can’t get greener than that!

Shopping in the El Grande Apple is consumer heaven, a yellow cab of adventure. If you thought the shopping in Norman Road was good, take it from us, New York is even better. We bought everything, went everywhere, met everyone and still wanted more. Credit card melt-down? I’ve still got the scars from the molten plastic.

Personally, I absolutely completely never follow trends so when I saw some amazing funky-fun rubber shoes I had to have them. Apparently they each have distinctive carbon footprints, so not only am I expressing my individuality, I’m doing something positive for the planet, which is nice.

The other girls all bought pairs too. The day-glo pink matched our outfits perfectly. Ronnie wanted Crocs whatever they are, but we settled for Pizza at Lombardis, which is kind of like a London Road Pizza but more American. Pizza the size of a car wheel. We had two. Each. Sixteen Pizzas and as many Cokes for just $80. It makes you sick.

Trace bought a book called Why Do People Hate America? which she read on the subway train down to Coney Island’s Hastings Beach. She got lots of stares from fellow travellers. We felt proud to have such an intelligent friend with us.

Hastings Beach next to Brighton Beach was just like Hastings but with less Russians. We gorged on Nathan’s hot dogs and were even lucky enough to watch the World championship Donut Eating competition. It was won by a Syrian woman who ate 37 donuts in eight minutes. It’s not as unhealthy as you probably think, because they don’t put sugar on them. We spotted her later at the Astro Land Amusement Park. Tracy joked we were lucky she wasn’t sitting behind us on the roller coaster. Tracy is a clown. She could do standup at The Rooms if she wasn’t mostly legless.

We had so many bags between us — Macy’s, Bloomingdales, Saks, the Co-op — we had to get a yellow cab. Each. What a laugh. We travelled in convoy. I honestly think people must have thought we were the Spice Girls. Pink cowboy hats and dark sunglasses do create that feeling of being special. Even Saturday nights on Robertson Street can’t match Tinsel Town’s night time action although that Thunder Bird stuff is awful, give me a can of Special Brew any time.

We restricted ourselves to two bottles each then headed for Times Square but that, dear, is another story….

To Be Continued

The Kings Road Women’s Latte Society flew with Jempson Air from Lydd. The trip was sponsored by the Bohemia Village Voice. Outfits were by Poundland.

Posted 20:19 Thursday, Aug 26, 2010 In: HOT Gossip

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