The many faces of the TINA MALINA enigma
As Tina Malina joins us with a new Hot Gossip column, we venture a brief insight into the phenomenem that is Hastings’ latest celebrity DFL, the intellectual beauty that is Ms Vavavoom Herself.
The enigmatic socialite Tina Malina recently moved her third home to St Leonards at the request of SEEDA and Hastings Borough Council — both are naturally keen to exploit her proven regenerative abilities which also extend to her youthful, milky soft, creamy smooth combination skin.
Educated in Paris at both the Ponds Institute and the Laboritoire Garnier (Double Doctorate), Tina’s age fluctuates regularly as does her body weight. Using the Beaufort Scale as her favoured measuring device Tina scores a fabulous 11.
Tina is a woman of independent means, having inherited her first fortune from a bone surgeon relative who made millions out of the ‘Clacker’ craze in the Seventies. Despite her busy social life, she reputedly still finds time to work half a day a week as well as being a valued advisor to undisclosed governments.
In essence Tina herself IS Hot Gossip. A showbiz darling and queen A-lister, she knows everyone from the editor of the Hastings Observer down to Steve Coogan, Melvin Bragg (Tina has for years written his Radio 4 interview questions) and the Duchess of Worcester.
Bragg is one of a long line of suitors. Others queuing at her door include Gyles Brandreth, Gordon Ramsay and Peter Andre. Tina’s excursions into lesbianism are also legendry and feature among her many marriages. Tina recently split with philandering partner Adrian, a Hollywood script writer who now lives in Hailsham.
Multi talented and multidirectional, Tina is a writer, actor, dancer and dog-whisperer — undeniably this country’s top Staffie pit bull trainer (another factor in her decision to move to St Leonards). As an artist and photographer who adorns collectors internationally, she has helped to launch the careers of some of this country’s top creatives. A major introspective of her work is planned for 2010 at Hastings Museum and Art Gallery.
Her move to St Leonards on Sea will no doubt lead the way for a tsunami of celebrities and fashionistas. HOT welcomes her flowing pen and her legendary dinner parties with open arms.
Tina Malina — Hastings & St Leonards On Sea salute you.
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